Wid dis nigga
I am that clumsy human, always loving, loving, loving. And loving. And never leaving.
Learning that you deserve better is the first part, knowing if what you’re given from another person is what “better” is — that’s the hard part.
Wanting something real from somebody is such a hopeless effort. I’m too distrustful from any guy’s intentions and I’m constantly caught in the threshold of my hesitation from getting to know someone.
Maybe it’s because I know that if I do acquire a person that knows how to treat me well, that knows what I want and can deliver without fail, and has a potential to better understand me than I can myself, I will develop a fear of getting hurt or caution that I will hurt them.
It’s pure insecurity and I know that it’s not fair for another person to engage in me when I’m clearly not ready to invest in someone else because I’m too caught up trying to protect myself from the worst.
I’ve endured too much heartache to only go through it once again. I need to realize something —
I need to either choose to wear my heart on my sleeve or build my walls higher. I only know that the one person that can break through my walls will be the one person that will encapture something that I have not felt in a while.